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Confession is good for the soul

January 21, 2008

John 8:1 -12 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court,they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”hey were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”

How can I not love a God like this???

Our God is sovereign! Isn’t it amazing that even when we run full throttle away, He has his hand on us?? My life has been a push pull with God and I thank Him that He never gave up on me. If it wasn’t for His constant intervention in my life, I don’t know where I would be today.

When I was young I had a brief marriage . We both treated it as just a fling. We were young foolish and we paid. Neither of us realized the consequences. We thought divorce held no more consequences than breaking up with a boyfriend / girlfriend. I went through depression d/t the guilt. Then I met another man. I thought, well this time I in my own power will get it right. This will absolve my guilt if I remarry and have a family etc… So, we got married, I worked hard.. I prayed hard. I had a son with him. then he told me that he loved me, he just wasn’t in love with me. (what in the world does that mean???)

The positive in this situation is this. I went to my 1st husband and I asked for forgiveness. We had a healing. But My heart was still not healed yet. I was still stinging. I thought I prayed. I even did novenas for my marriage. Where was God.?

Psalm 119:176
I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, For I do not forget Your commandments.

Ezekial 34:12
As a shepherd cares for his herd in the day when he is among his scattered sheep, so I will care for My sheep and will deliver them from all the places to which they were scattered on a cloudy and gloomy day.

I am so blessed that God had placed me in a church with amazing friends when I was young. I was fortunate to be taught under Mike and Judy Phillips as a child in the Christian Discipleship School. There are lessons and love that I experienced there from the Phillips, Cannon’s Turek’s, Pirog’s, Reyes, Jacobs, Youngs, Galanis’ (the list goes on) and other great Christian adults that will NEVER leave my heart. The obvious place for me to go back to when I was in such a low place was back to that church to see Laurie and her family at church. I needed my church family. I still cry when I remember Jim Cannon giving me a hug when I told him what had happened with the grief of a man who is a part of your human and spiritual family. Between him, Laurie, and the church the cracks began to open up my heart to God. I was beginning to be able to experience His love again.

I still was struggling though. I was still holding on to the guilt. It was blocking me from enjoying a full relationship with my daddy God. Do you know what sometimes blocks God the most from my heart? . The Devil used my pride to block God and I had foolishly fallen for it. The deceiver whispered God’s holy people wouldn’t be friends with you if they knew you that you had done that. Oh my! You have been divorced, TWICE. Oh no, the saints won’t care that you have repented of your sins and have changed your ways. IN fact the church is just full of hypocrites. You don’t need them. You can have spirituality on your own. In fact, who needs Christianity. The church is just blocking you finding your own way with their man made rules..

There have been a lot of people that have led me back in their own ways, but it was one person in particular whose words set me straight. We were talking about God, spirituality etc. She stopped and said. “Karen, it’s obvious that you are a Christian. You may have lost the way, but you are a Christian. Go back to it and study pray live it. That is the only way that you will be OK” Obviously this is a paraphrase, but this was the message from a friend who is a proclaimed Pagan. Amazing how God uses a lot of vessels to speak to his lost sheep, doesn’t He?

I praise God that he has never let me go so far away that I couldn’t come back. It is entirely His Grace that I am saved. There is nothing that I have done to deserve it. I am just thankful that He loves me enough to always have a hand on my life. I am forever thankful that He laid in me the work when I was young and that He allowed me to return to it.

He has blessed me so totally. He led me to a Godly husband who cherishes me as I cherish him and we have added two beautiful children to our family. So I now have three young people to raise up on the correct path. I am overwhelmed by his Grace to me! I am a work in progress but between Him and my church family I know that his Grace will suffice!!

Thank you to my Godly friends who have continuously prayed for me and have been a part of my life. I thank God for you as well. Never believe the lie that Jesus’ blood will not cover you, it does indeed. His love is so all encompassing. Remember about Jesus and the adulteress…

1 timothy 1:16
But for this reason I was given mercy, so that in me, the chief of sinners, Jesus Christ might make clear all his mercy, as an example to those who in the future would have faith in him to eternal life.

From one lost sheep to another I say HALLELUJAH! Praise to Him in the highest for this is a GOOD DAY!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. January 21, 2008 7:18 pm

    I love you, dear friend. i am so glad you’re back in my life.

  2. January 21, 2008 11:42 pm

    Hi, Karen. I found my way here from Laurie’s blog.
    This post is spot-on the way the devil lies to me. Sometimes it takes me a bit too long to realize the spiritual warfare I’m in. We don’t fight against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers in the heavenly places. Jesus is My Banner, my Warrior. Sometimes I can only repeat HIs name and sense the power of it against my Foe!

  3. January 22, 2008 10:22 am

    Thank you for the encouragement Laurie & Zoanna. Glad you visited the blog Zoanna 😉

  4. January 22, 2008 9:44 pm

    Karen
    Hi it’s Donna . We met at CCC the Night Sharon Betters spoke. I sat next to you. This is an awesome post and right on. I remember feeling this way after Scott died. That other Christians would not want to hear my woes or that they would not want me because of my wrestling with God over Scott’s death. The enemy spreads lies and it is our job to cling to the truth. Thanks for this reminder…
    Donna Bishop

  5. bethyoung permalink
    January 23, 2008 10:02 pm

    Love this post. Glad you’re around again 🙂

  6. January 23, 2008 10:12 pm

    Hey Donna :0) I did check out your blog and loved it. I would love to reprint your poem on grief with your permission. It would really be nice to have on hand at the hospital.

    Beth, I am sooo glad to be back. I am excited now because Ronan is going to visit with me and the 2 youngest again this Sunday. I won’t count my chickens before they are hatched, but it would be nice if we could start coming as a member some day, not just as a visitor. That’s in God’s hands.

    Thanks for the love i feel from y’all (and facebook said i had a northern accent… well fiddly dee). This was a hard post to write, but it was the right time to do it for me. If it can be used for His Glory, than awesome!!!

  7. February 25, 2008 1:34 pm

    Thanks for sharing your testimony, Karen! I hope to get to talk to you more in the future.

  8. February 25, 2008 9:11 pm

    Danielle,
    I would also love to get to talk to you more in the future. until then there are waves at church as we corral our blessings aka the wee ones, and there is always bloggity blog time 😉

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